


Reminiscence

by nickofhearts



Series: let's watch this city burn [3]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: M/M, redux, symptoms of stockholm syndrome, there is absolutely no good here, this is fucking filthy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-09-21 15:48:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9555836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nickofhearts/pseuds/nickofhearts
Summary: Fucking Ardyn wasn't worth the price of hissoul, Noct reminded himself, though not all of him agreed with the sentiment.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dreamingcicadas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamingcicadas/gifts).



> Noct wakes up in the past and fucking books it when they run into the daemon that cursed him again, something something they meet Ardyn at the canon appointed time LET'S GET TO THE ~~TRAGEDY THAT IS NOCT'S LIFE~~ PORN.

Noct couldn't take it anymore. Ever since they'd run into Ardyn again at the outlook, he'd been getting flashes of Ardyn kissing him, Ardyn _touching_ him, sense memories of things that had happened in a different time, to a different him. One that had succumbed to horrible darkness and fleshly desires that made him sick to think about now. He still felt echoes of the hunger sometimes, not so much that it would overwhelm him as before, that emptiness of the _soul_ that had made everything else seem trivial, but just enough to remind him of what he'd done.

Luna's blood on his hands had only been the beginning, and the most terrible thing was that even in the memories, it still felt _so good_.

"I'm getting some air," Noct said tersely, when Ardyn had brushed by and he'd only just stopped himself from flinching violently away.

He let the caravan door bang shut behind him, bracing his hands against the Regalia's hood as he took deep breaths and tried to calm himself down. The memories weren't _real_ —they hadn't happened, and now they never would. Noct bit his lip at the regret that seeped in with that thought, because even during the worst of times, he'd _wanted_ it, and that hadn't completely been Ardyn's doing. 

Fucking Ardyn wasn't worth the price of his _soul_ , he reminded himself, though not all of him agreed with the sentiment.

Noct startled upright at the sound of the door opening—there was only person it could be. The others all knew by now to leave him alone when he got like this, the memories of futures that never were crowding in so close that it was hard to tell fiction from reality.

"Are you quite alright, Your Highness," that familiar slow drawl that made the hairs on the back of Noct's neck stand on end. 

_Fuck this_ , he thought, and warp-slammed Ardyn up against the side of the caravan, hands digging into Ardyn's shoulders as Noct kissed him with all the fervor and passion he hadn't let himself feel since he'd gotten back. It hadn't been _safe_ , not when he might lose control and slip back into bad habits that would lead him down a dark path, but there was nothing safe about Ardyn. 

Noct backed up immediately when Ardyn tried to touch him. " _Hands off_ ," he ordered, almost snarling. "Or we're not doing this." 

Ardyn raised his hands in a conciliatory gesture, eyeing Noct with interest. "As you desire, Prince Noctis."

Noct turned, heading for the Regalia as he very deliberately didn't think about whether he was making another huge fucking mistake. He _wanted_ this, though it was only slightly less dangerous than consuming daemon parts raw. The Regalia's hood was still down from earlier, and Noct motioned for Ardyn to make himself comfortable in the back seat.

He climbed in after, the press of Ardyn's long body against him so familiar that it was almost like submerging himself in the memories, the deep dark sea of want and desire that had driven him to madness.

Noct kissed him again, remembering the shape of Ardyn's mouth, the sharp contours of his teeth, and Ardyn was as good as his word, holding onto the sides of the seats as Noct mapped out his mouth with his tongue, tracing over soft places he remembered biting into, the darkness that had spilled into him with every stolen breath. He shuddered, pushing the thoughts away, the treacherous idea that it hadn't been _so_ bad, hadn't Ardyn taken care of him like he'd promised?

Noct stripped out of his pants before he could go any further down that road, tossing them into the front seat as he considered the best course of action. _Whatever,_ he thought, and stuck two fingers in his mouth, getting them messy with saliva. 

He didn't mind some pain, he didn't mind a _lot_ of things, Ardyn had helped him discover. 

" _Don't look_ ," Noct growled when he'd gotten them satisfactorily wet, shifting onto his knees so he could press them into himself, and Ardyn closed his eyes with a sigh.

"Don't touch, don't look, I'm beginning to feel quite used, Highness."

"Don't talk either," Noct snapped, following up with a hard kiss as he scissored his fingers wide, stretching himself open. He was desperate for it all of a sudden, so close now to having even just one thing that he'd _yearned_ for, that he shouldn't want more than he wanted to breathe his next. 

He could get Ardyn's pants open with his eyes closed, and he employed that skill now, undoing enough clasps and buttons to get to his cock.

Noct barely spared a moment to lick a stripe up his palm, perfunctorily swiping it over Ardyn's cock before he shifted his hands to Ardyn's shoulders, knees on the soft leather of the seats as he sank down on it with a low moan. 

It hurt, but that was just as he remembered too. 

He flexed his fingers—fingers not claws, though it was hard to tell the difference sometimes, and the teeth in his mouth were sharp enough to cut bloody grooves into his lips. Noct didn't care, pushed himself up and back down on Ardyn's cock with the kind of ferocity he'd used to hunt down people that had never wronged him in any way, it'd just been _fun_ , and Ardyn had wanted him to.

Noct tore Ardyn's scarf off with a snarl, chucking it over the side of the car. He leaned in to trail his teeth over Ardyn's throat, biting, but not hard enough to break skin, he wasn't _stupid_.

He felt Ardyn tense underneath him, but he kept his eyes closed and his hands to himself, and it was almost disappointing that Ardyn didn't just _grab_ him, take what he wanted. Noct closed his eyes, clenching his hands as he thought about how he _didn't_ want that, all the memories of the almost brutal way Ardyn had fucked him, how so very good it had felt at the time. 

He wrapped a hand around his cock, traced his thumb over the side, the sharpness of his finger drawing him to the edge.

He came to the thought of Ardyn's hands tight around his throat, how Ardyn had loved leaving bruises on him though they'd never lasted more than half a day. Contentment was a low rumble in his throat that curled all the way through him as Noct licked lazily at the come on his hand.

When that was all gone, he shifted up on his knees again, pushing at Ardyn's legs until he got the message and sat up higher on the seat, giving Noct enough room to work.

He scrunched himself up in the small space so he could get his mouth on Ardyn's cock, the thick heavy weight of it on his tongue more grounding than anything else he'd tried to latch onto. Noct wanted Ardyn's hand in his hair, Ardyn's long fingers scraping over his scalp, but that was too dangerous, that was one step closer to letting Ardyn possess him completely again.

Noct knew what Ardyn liked, and it wasn't long before he was coming in Noct's mouth, a low groan that made Noct ache with longing for a different time.

He wiped carefully at his lips and got out of the car though it tore at him, picking his pants out of the passenger seat and putting them back on. He wanted and didn't want to go back to that life in equal desperate measure, and the one thing he hadn't told the others though he had told them everything else was that he didn't wake up screaming because of how horrible it had all been. 

He woke up screaming because he'd _loved_ it, and waking up was what was horrible.

-

("Did we make the world burn, _Noct?_ " Ardyn asked, a terrible wonder in his eyes as he trailed light fingers up Noct's throat until they were on the underside of his chin, like so many times before.

" _Yes,_ " Noct whispered, and closed his eyes when Ardyn kissed him.)


End file.
